In a relationship, especially one among fetishists and the BDSM crowd, not every interest will be reciprocated. It’s just like any relationship, people will have different interests. I find myself in one of those situations at the moment, I am finding myself wanting to play with a lot of my toys, but I feel limited in doing so because of people around me. Thought about wanting to play with some of my cuffs before, and found that I couldn’t do it because I worried about getting stuck in the pair that I thought about playing with and with the way I wanted to play with them. I found myself more nervous about the idea of playing with them around J than I did about the idea of being stuck. Stuck a person can usually work around, but glares of disinterest seem to cause an instant lack of interest as well as a feeling of embarrassment that doesn’t encourage further play. While there are these types of feelings, I also recognize the need for a person to explore things that they are interested in, even if the person must explore those things alone. Its a hard thing to deal with, but it seems necessary. Perhaps the other solution is to have a conversation with the person that is causing the limiting feeling and see what can be done to resolve it.
One thought on “Thoughts on Non-Reciprocal Interests”
I think in my case, I found that not communicating made things worse than the awkwardness of communicating about your interest to the other half. I really think if you talk to him, you might find that the result is better than you hoped for.